A Small Memory…

(Music again!) 

 

Hello!

As sworn, this week has been tight for me.

I went into work at 6am Monday, and today (Tuesday) I was there before 5:30am. But I have been leaving at 5pm on the dot as usual, just because my brain is completely fried after all those hours of work.

Mr. Belgium, surprisingly, has made it in too. Usually, he’s terrible about getting into work really early when we both say we’ll do so. But I suppose he doesn’t want to be swamped when we leave for our project, just as I don’t want to be swamped when we get there.

Anyway, I said I’d bite the bullet and dive in to work, and bit it I have.

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And when I get home in the evenings, its exercise, then shower, eat and straight to bed. I even turn my cell off.

I guess my parents are fine. They are busy enjoying their grandkids.

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Other than that, I am trying out some new pills a friend sent me from Florida. They are women’s wellness multi-vitamins, and thankfully, are vegetarian/organic. My friend is a Jamaican lady (I met her through Armstrong, my old Jamaican co-worker), and she’s a nutritionist who specializes in all-organic supplements. I really like talking to her as she gives me a lot of advice on what to eat, what to take etc.

I am also taking some Aloe/Garlic/Parsley combination pills from her and they are really good, though I hate how they taste…

Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with that…

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Commenting about wanting to be a stay-at-home mom had me thinking about all the jobs I’ve had in my short life. And I remembered my best job ever.

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When I was in my early twenties and doing an MA in Marseille, I worked as a waitress in my friend Flavien’s mom’s restaurant and had the time of my life.

Mostly because Flavien worked there too, as did his siblings and three of our uni friends as well.

Flavien’s mom is a real African business woman, and because she was (and is) running other businesses both in Marseille and Paris, she had Flavien’s older sis managing the restaurant. And of course, we were all hired to work for food and tips whenever they were short-handed.

I made no ‘money’ whatsoever, and whatever tips I got at the end of the night went into our mutual stash for partying and silly-living.

We had soooo much fun in those days and our lives were completely pointless. Just food, laughter and the next bash.

I was alone in Marseille as my siblings were living elsewhere, and nobody was close by. Not Mireille, nor SM, nor Sandra nor the brothers Zack and Michele…

But I had a nice boyfriend then who was easygoing and fun, and entirely not the kind of guy I’d ever want to settle down with (or even think of being with seriously for that matter…)… He was just a very fun, funny, exciting, happy-go-lucky guy who filled my time there with excellent memories. And by the way, around the same time, I was constantly making up and breaking up long-distance with the man who eventually came to be known as my ex-fiancé…

Anyway, what a time… 

Flavien was so serious at the restaurant!

He would come up with all these schedules and rules and regulations… and we’d all tell him to sit down and chill and leave us alone hehehe…  

And Soufiane (who also worked there part time and was in school with us) would complain daily about the kitchen staff cooking pork in the same pots they cooked couscous in…

And me always getting angry with a customer …

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Flavien’s mom would breeze in every couple of days to cross-examine her daughter on the books, say hi to us and her regulars, then breeze out to go to another one of her enterprises. But she would always tell us to eat, eat, eat.

And Flavien’s younger sis would grill me on the most ridiculous stuff, like did I know who some American rapper was dating or did I ever meet someone famous when I was living in New York in my teens? I always made up ‘exciting’ answers that she gobbled up… She really ate up those teen entertainment magazines and looking at her now, you wouldn’t believe she’s the same person…

And my boyfriend who had no job, drank too much and bought the whole bar rounds when he was drunk… He hung around restaurants and then played in a band at night… He was the most arbitrary person in the world… He shared an apartment with his older brother who had a real job and goals, but Mr. Boyfriend was a butterfly in the wind…

Oddly enough, though he and I had a wonderful time, I can honestly say I was never ‘in love’ with him. I just liked him a lot though have no idea what happened to him or where in the world he ended up. No one seems to know anything other than that he moved to Japan to play music there…

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But anyway…

Life is something.

I remember my parents coming to see me and telling me how happy I looked.

And yet, it was at a time when I had no clue where I was headed or what was going to become of me…

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Just a small memory.

The Magic Words

Salaams kwa wingi  as they say 

Nothing new on my end… Just had a nice, soft and quiet weekend and hope you did too.

Friday, I got a package in the mail from my sis. She sent me some clothes and a new pair of shoes that I really like. Though I like getting dressed up and looking good, I do not like to shop, so thank goodness for a big sister who loves to.

I was unable to see my ex-coworker (who had the stroke) but I’ll do so tomorrow.

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Saturday, I got up extra early and did laundry then we went out to have breakfast (Thabiso and M. spent Friday night here). After breakfast, I dropped them off at their respective homes and came back here to try on my new clothes. M’scar wouldn’t start…

Then I called my family members, but they were all out together somewhere and said they’d call me back later.

I returned, moved my stuff back into my bedroom, took a looong nap, then talked on the phone with my people when they called me back.

And then…!!

Mr. Hot called and said he’ll be down on Wednesday.

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Today (Sunday), we went out for brunch and then Thabiso asked me to take him to some place to pick up his work suits that he’d dropped off for alterations.

We picked them up, then went to ‘my’ boutique and picked up some make-up for me and that was it. I call it ‘my’ boutique because it’s the only place I ever buy anything (clothes etc). The ladies there are nice and know me, my size, my style… And they always have nice pieces in there. I don’t follow trends at all and am not a Mall shopper, so when I find something that works for me, I stick with it. But I’m still adventuresome with my tastes…

Oh, the other thing is that I exercised heavily on both mornings…. I have gained 3 pounds since my folks arrived (and departed)…

I have a weird metabolism, though I’ve always been petite…

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On Friday, we didn’t play cards but sat and talked all night.

M. (who is usually mute), talked a lot, mostly because he’d had a couple of beers in him. Its funny how the quietest people on the planet turn so verbose under the influence…

He told us many stories about his very interesting job and what it’s like being the boss over a bunch of lunatics.

M. is a very nice guy.

When Nne returns from her sojourn in Igboland, I’ll ask her to think about dating him. From what I know of their temperaments, they’d make a good couple. And he really digs her, from what I can see.

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Anyway, so today after we picked up the suits and make-up, we came back here and Thabiso helped me sort out some stuff that I want to either sell or give away. It’s already November and I don’t want to wait till the last minute before getting rid of stuff next year.

I already know what I’m taking with me to Central Africa. The good thing is that I’m not too attached to material stuff, though some of my furniture finds, I’d never give away. I have invested solidly in some very good pieces and intend to take them along with me.

We did that, ate some cake and ice-cream in the late afternoon, then ate some of the food my mom cooked and froze, then I dropped him off and here I am.

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By the way (how could I forget?)…, Mr. Hot told me the magic words when we talked on the phone the other night.

Noooo my dear friends…, he didn’t say “I love you Kaasa” or anything along those lines… Those aren’t the magic words.

We were talking about my life here, my goals etc., and then he said “You know, with me, you don’t have to work”.

Those, my chickadees, are the magic words for this type of girl here    

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Anyway, like I said, he’s coming down on Wednesday and will be here through the weekend.

He brought me a super perfume last time he came down to meet my folks. It’ a scent I’ve been wanting for the longest time but couldn’t find here. When he was back in Paris, he’d called and asked me what I wanted and I said “please get such-and-such perfume”.  And he got the parfum and eau de toilette etc.

So now I’m wondering what he’s gonna bring me this time around.

Thank you dear Goddess. Thank you, thank you, thank you…

–

Anyway, off to bed.

More to come tomorrow…

God bless!

And have a good week!

Part II – For The Ladies

Hey! 

I hope you are fine, fine, fine

My folks left yesterday and now it’s back to the old routine. I miss them already but I didn’t cry or anything like that at the airport…  

I was in a rush and they were like “let’s get on this plane, bye, see you Bubi”.

They arrived safe and sound and my sister picked them up at JFK, and we’ll be together again in early December.

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The house is quiet but I’m not back in my bedroom yet (where my parents were sleeping). I’m in the other room as I can still ‘feel’ my parents in my room 

Nice feeling though…

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Gosh, sometimes I think I’m a robot or have a couple of Energizer batteries plugged into my back. I haven’t stopped to sit down all this year and my life really feels like a rollercoaster…

Soon, I’ll be off again for a week’s work elsewhere. Mr. Belgium (my workmate) and I have to go and though we will enjoy the sunshine, we will work like life depends on it.

But all is good here and I hope that all’s good with you too.

 

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Here’s what I wanted to briefly blog about:

After reading your responses on my last post about my ex-coworker’s stroke (the result of her contraceptive implant), I started to think about what it is that stops women from really looking out for their health and physical well-being, especially when it comes birth control.

Hey, life is precious!

A woman has to do her research! There’s too much out there that can ruin your life or kill you. And you should not be afraid to find out about what it is you’re inserting into yourself.

Be brave! And start Googling or asking, like Cynthia said…

For me, the only time I ever was on birth control was years ago when I went on the pill for about 4 months. It was horrific. I was so miserable and couldn’t stand the way I felt both mentally and physically. And it was instantaneous. It felt as though I was in some sort of bog, stuck in a miasma… I just felt weird, maladjusted… It’s like my body and mind weren’t mine anymore. And that’s because it threw my hormones out of wack…

I came off of it fast, and thankfully, ditched my ex-fiancé and have never been on anything ever again and am happily celibate.

And the reason I went on it in the first place?

For him.

How ridiculous. I jeopardized my own mental/physical well-being for some guy…

Of course, the pill wasn’t as potentially dangerous as an implant, but my point is that I actually chose to alter my hormonal balance and jeaopardize my well-being  for some guy who isn’t around anymore and never merited it in the first place.

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If you’re an unmarried woman and are in a relationship with a man that’s stressing you to get on the pill or get on some implant, tell him to take a hike.

Or tell him to go get a vasectomy and then reverse the procedure once he decides to marry you. DO NOT agree to something you’re uncomfortable with. It’s you that has to live with the risks, not him. It’s you that might catch an STD, get a stroke or God knows what. Take control of your body and your life.

You don’t owe that man your well-being. In fact, you don’t owe him a thing.

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It makes me so mad when I think about some of the ‘sacrifices’ women make. And why should we? Let that man go get a vasectomy. Make him use condoms and if he doesn’t want to, ciao then…

Don’t you mess up your body and mind for any man.

And even if he’s your husband, do like Thabiso tells me to do and go find a good super sangoma and ask her/him to tell you what that husband of yours is up to. You might get the shock of your life and find out he’s sleeping with all sorts (of women or men or God alone knows what).

Do whatever it is you have to do to make sure you are safe.

YOU are number one in life. Not some guy or his ‘desires’. And if he doesn’t like it, like I said, he can keep on stepping.

You, my dear sister, don’t have to ‘put up’ with anything you don’t want to.

 You don’t have to ‘take it’ (or anything)… You don’t have to ‘understand’, or ‘sacrifice’ or ‘be obedient’ or ‘submissive’ or any of that other crap they’ve tried to shove down your throat.

—

Okay,

That’s my piece for today 

I just was vexed and wanted to blog that.

Otherwise, I can’t think of any fun topics to write about. I’m gonna watch some TV and Thabiso and M. are coming over to hang. Maybe we’ll play cards.., maybe not… 

So have a lovely weekend, be nice to people…

…and please,

Tekit  Izi.

Very Quick – For The Ladies

Someone I know just had a stroke and she’s only 31. I am going to see her in hospital tomorrow. Turns out it was one of the ‘possible side effects’ from her implanted contraceptive. Please women, be careful with that stuff. So many of the contraceptives out there can actually kill you.

Sometimes it may seem like the easiest route to have something implanted in you, but then…

Gosh, just be super careful. Do your research…, really do your research…

Or just embrace celibacy.

 

 

 

 

Mr. Moto Once Again (And, Some Other Stuff)

Hello folks! 

I hope you are all doing excellent and that life in your locale is sweet.

Things are quiet around here and we are now on countdown to departure (my parents leave in a few days).

I am very sad that they’re going but thankful that we’ll all be together again in December. Gosh, I really love my folks. I am trying to wangle some time from work (though I have none left) to go spend U.S. Thanksgiving with them all, but we shall see how that all pans out… Wish me luck please…

Other than that, I am okay and happy that my freezer’s full. My mom has cooked ten thousand dishes to see me through the next weeks as I’ll be busy and probably working late on a new project. I never, ever stay late at work (on principle), but this project is important in the long run, as it will open up avenues for me once I leave here and go solo. So, I’ve decided to bite the bullet and for a week after my parents leave, will dive into my job, then leave for a nice warm location to cut the ribbon on the development Mr Belgium and I have been toiling over. At least I get to go somewhere warm on someone else’s dime, and in this hemisphere no less, though only for a week and not on holiday. I’ll be working the whole time I’m there, and sleeping in a hotel which is something I detest immensely…

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My parents are fine and in bed as I type this. I just stayed up to clean up and talk on the phone. But we had a good day today in which we did absolutely nothing except watch movies and eat pizza. My mom wasn’t in the mood to cook and neither was I, so I went to the store and bought ice-cream and then picked up some pizza round the corner and that’s pretty much all we did.

It is amazing how men take over when it comes to certain issues. My mom and I had no choice in what movies  to watch. My dad commandeered the remote, the DVD choices and the center of the couch and we submitted and just shook our heads…

Thabiso and M. came by for a couple of hours but they both have colds, so went back to their respective homes to sleep. We’re all going out to eat tomorrow night though, M’s treat.

M. asked me about Nne and when she’s coming back and Thabiso and I exchanged an undercover look…

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As I said in my last post, my parents and I have been having interesting conversations.

With my dad, I talk about life, goals, social issues, guys… that sort of thing. We also joke a lot as we share a similar sense of humor. My dad and I (I think) have a wry take on life, whereas my mom’s take on life has always been very left-field and surprising… She always has been very ‘outside the box’…

Anyway, my dad – for all intents and purposes – is a very old-school guy. Things are either right or wrong, black or white with him. But even then, he has a very broad understanding of humanity.., of the ‘human condition’…, and nothing shocks him. I think this stems from the fact that he left home while very young to go to school in the West, and he lived in so many different countries, worked with all sorts of people of all races and creeds and persuasions… so much so that by the time he was 40, he’d seen and heard it all, in full effect. Which is why we can talk to him about anything, or spring all sorts of surprises on him knowing that he’ll handle anything we lay on his lap.

My mom on the other hand, is almost superhuman. But then, she’s veeeery emotional – especially when it comes to her kids and grandkids. We are her number one top priority. And she’s also open-minded and unassuming and accepting of people, though she too has a strong moral code.

I’m gonna miss them a lot…

  

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I guess I’m writing all this to say that I’m glad I’m no longer the hot-headed daughter I once was, and that they’re not having sleeping nights wondering whether Bubi (me) is going to shoot someone or run over somebody with her car.

When I was younger, my dad once told me that I better rein in my temper “otherwise no one will marry you” hehehe… I was so angry when he said that, I told him that was the meanest thing he could say to his daughter… And then he shot right back that he wanted me to change and get married quickly because he didn’t want somebody (me) hanging around his house giving him headaches in his old age hehehe  

And I don’t even know how many prayers my mother said for me. I think she really thought I was possessed by djinn in those days… 

But now things have settled down and that’s good, and everybody just makes fun of me.

Like in June, when we were holidaying in Gonder, we were all at a restaurant and the food was taking too long to come despite the fact that the place wasn’t at full capacity. My sis and bro’s children were hungry and whiny, and the waiters were slacking. So when I got mad and got up to go to the kitchen, my family all started laughing.

–

Then again,

When he was single and dating twelve zillion women, my brother would always refer the crazy ones to me, especially when we were doing our first degrees and living together in the States. Those poor girls would start hounding my brother and unluckily get a hold of me on the phone. And boy would I rip into them… I remember this one girl who actually thought she owned my brother and couldn’t comprehend that it was over between them. That girl called our apartment till I just asked her to come over because I wanted to talk to her 

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Anyway, that’s life, isn’t it?

We grow up and hopefully, untangle ourselves and learn.

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These days, I’m concerned only with getting better and better.., treating myself and other’s the right way, not being around anything or anyone immoral, and generally improving the quality of my life. I don’t worry about the negative stuff, or about unconstructive people, or about where the world is going…

(to hell in a handbasket hehehe…)

This is not to say that I want only to deal with what’s ‘rosy’ in life, or pretend that problems don’t exist or be shut up in a room. I’m not a fool.. It’s the foolish stuff that I’m trying to stay away from… Or the people and situations that are counter to me freeing up my mind, from fear and other stuff that shackles or may send me wandering off my path or have me trying to fix the unfixable.

My mom advised me to “keep maneuvering like that”.

And as much as it may not make sense on paper, what she said made all sense to me.

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The other day, I got an email from my ex fiancé telling me he’s getting married. I was quite surprised to hear from him considering the fact that it ended like Armageddon between us. I have no idea why he wrote me, but figured it was all about closure for him. To each his own, and I wish him the very best in life. I actually felt relieved at the news but didn’t respond because the last thing I need is him writing me back… That ship has truly sailed…

Sometimes I wonder what on earth attracted me to him since we are so dissimilar…?

When I mentioned the email to Thabiso, he went into this long tirade about “so why is he emailing you now if he was unable to treat you the right way when you were together”? I just laughed.

Thabiso really, really, hands down loathed my ex.

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So Emerance was telling me that she too has decided it’s high time she married Guy, who’s been asking her for ages. She said she wants to have a baby soon, as she’s not getting any younger.

But Emerance is not flashy, so if there’s a wedding at all, it’ll be simple and small.

I’m happy for her. Guy’s a nice guy and has his head screwed on right. He’ll be good to her and will take care of her and their children. The only thing I told her to watch out for is his many relations… African relatives can wear you out sometimes…, though they are also at times, the greatest blessing…

Anyway, her future mother-in-law is a piece of work I swear, and I told Emerance to get the ball rolling and let the woman know she won’t be able to walk all over her (Emerance). But the mother-in-law lives in Cameroun with Guy’s older brother’s family, whereas when they return to Africa, Guy and Emerance will be going back to Gabon where he was born. So that’s good; at least, there’ll be some distance between them.

I really like Guy though. He’s a very good and responsible guy…, très cool, très sympa… the sort of guy you’d want for your sister or your best friend.

He and I get on well and always join forces against the rest when we play cards.

It’s nice when good people get together and make a life out of it…

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I on the other hand, have of course, not met any of Mr. Hot’s family other than his brother in Montreal who’s veeeery nice. The rest of his family is in Nantes/Paris/Africa, and they are quite a small crew. Thabiso was saying “Kaasa you wait. You’ll marry that man and find yourself surrounded by fighting in-laws…”  Hehehe…

But oddly enough, Thabiso has been very cool about Mr. Hot. I guess it’s because Mr. Hot is intelligent, has a life, and they have good conversations when we are out.

The ‘problem’ with Thabiso – as I’ve always told him – is that he’s ten times worse than me.

Thabiso’s life rolls at a very definite and directed momemtum. He’s not dithering and has a very clear-cut spiritual/intellectual/emotional goal, and it’s all rolled together and one and the same…

And because of that, anything or anyone counter his clock has got to be deleted from the scene…

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Anyway, I’m in no hurry to meet Mr. Hot’s people since we are ‘just friends’. And if we’re still friends later next year when I’m working in France, maybe I’ll get to scope them out.

I do know that Mr. Hot really likes me, and I’m not playing silly hard-to-get games. The truth is, I’ve been very forthright with him and do like him.

But he lives mostly in France, I live here. He comes to Montreal every other month, I live here…

But whenever he’s been around , we’ve had a very wonderful time.

That plus he’s a real gentleman. Gosh, it’s lovely that he is one.

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What I like most about him is that he’s not bullshitting.

As I wrote awhile ago somewhere on this blog, it’s all about the presentation being honest…

Because God knows there are a whole lot of men out there who are all about nothing but BS and hot air. And please trust me when I say I learned this first hand the hard way.

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That BS…

You better watch out for it…

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Anyway, dear sisters and brothers…

I’m just wasting time on this computer when I should be having a good night’s sleep dreaming about amazing adventures. It’s still early-ish here, so I think I’ll go take a shower then fold some clothes.

I do hope that life is good and that you have some butter on your bread and a warm place to lay down your head. 2009 is almost over and truly, this has been a year and a half. If things have been hard for you, I pray they’ll get better. Just don’t worry yourself. We’re all sailing in the same boat and tomorrow the sun may shine on you. Just do your part, keep your character good and don’t fall into making excuses.

Let me ‘pen off’ here as they say (hehehe…), and I shall see you again soonest.

My folks are securing their luggage and saying sayonara soon, and after that, I’ll be around here as usual.

Be good, be strong… Eat well, sleep tight.. Stay away from mischief and when someone makes you mad, give them one hot slap in the name of Kaasa.

Love 2 u all.

Something To Say Today

 

Marafiki

Here’s where we stand blogwise:

I registered many of your monikers and was asked to pay $$ (US currency) by WordPress and of course, I was like okay but not right now. Honestly, I don’t know what to do with this blog.

Other than write in it, it appears…

So we’re still pending…

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I hope you’re all well 

My parents are around for about a week more and then will be off to greener pastures (i.e. to my sis and brother’s homes in the US). As I have said before, it is very nice having them around and I’m looking forward to having them be with me for a long stretch next year when I leave. As much as I love to talk in general, I must say I have really talked a lot with them both this past month, about all kinds of stuff, covering all sorts of ground, and we’ve been all over the place.

What I’ve always liked about my parents is that I don’t have to alter myself when I’m around them. It’s not like I have a side fake personality that I employ with them. I’m just me…., maybe more of myself than I am even with some of my dearest friends. And that’s the greatest blessing…

It’s nice to hear what my folks have to say…, what they’re plotting and have up their sleeves…,  and it’s good to know that they’re interested in what I have to say. I actually really like my parents and their individual personalities. It’s one thing to love them, it’s another entirely to like them.

They must like me too, because they don’t want to leave!

Anyway, thank God for them.

—

Because of this danged weather, we’ve been hanging around the house, though have spent some time at my cousin Selam’s. A couple of my mom’s crew (distant relatives living in Minnesota) came up last week and we all had a wonderful time. My old uncle (my mom’s cousin who was/is a famous singer) was very happy to see her and cried, which was sweet. My auntie (Selam’s mom) was telling my mom that Kaasa (me) has been checking on them and visiting, and that they are happy I live so close. Selam’s husband has been having his maniacal debates with my dad so at least he (Selam’s husband) feels like he has now has a ‘worthy opponent’…

And the rest of the gang is fine. Thabiso’s grandmother is up and about and over her illness which means he’s back to his usual self…, work and Mr. Belgium are good, Emerance and Guy are cool, Charles is still avoiding us (after Nne ended what was budding between them), Nne has gone off to Igboland to visit her kin, M. (Thabiso’s friend) is fine and still quiet, and my siblings and their families are fine.

When they leave here, my parents will be in the US till mid-December and then we’ll all leave for Mireille’s wedding.

I can’t believe it’s only a month and a half away. I’ll only be able to be there for little more than a week. The way it’s set up, I’ll be there for the last bit of the traditional matrimonial session at her ancestral home, then the actual wedding ceremony, then the festivities the following two days, then I’m out and fly back here. My parents and siblings will stay longer. By the way, Thabiso is coming too. He can’t miss it. This Mireille’s wedding will be another milestone in all our lives… But after the wedding, he’s going to South Africa for Christmas, while I’ll be back here probably spending the holidays with Mr. Hot maybe?? My whole family will go on to Ethiopia but I can’t because I have to work…

 

Everybody from my past will be at the wedding:

• SM and his mom (and his wife and kids too)
• Sandra and her husband (and her parents and kids)
• My bro-in-law’s parents
• Zack and Michel (the two bros from Martinique) and their mom
• Mr. French (coming solo)
• Mireille’s cousins of course
• Our  very crooked  ex schoolmate from Equatorial Guinea and his entire entourage
• And an assortment of people we knew as children…., mostly people that worked for Mireille’s uncle.

The rest of the guest list is a medley of names right out of Mireille’s Francophone Africa Who’s Who registry circa 1962-1989… Which means a lot of people who stole a lot of money during their heyday (and kept it) and still live quietly large. Noblesse Oblige hehehe…  

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The only person out of my childhood that isn’t going to be there is ‘T’, SM’s younger brother who died in a car accident. But I’m positive he will be there in spirit.

This last month, there’s been a flurry of emails and calls between us all. All are looking forward to it, because we’ll be together again in the same location after a while. The last time we were all together was two years ago when my bro got married.

And then, it was the same set-up. We were all part of the wedding line-up and had a blast.

—

My mom was saying how excited she is to see everybody again and reminded me of many of our childhood adventures…  But funny, the only person she’s loathe to see is Mireille’s mom.

My dad is just happy to be going on another trip to a part of Africa he likes a lot.

—

Other than that, without a doubt, Mireille is freaking out and has become psychotic, according to my sis. And this is after months of calm and serenity. She was doing very well but apparently, almost overnight, has begun behaving like a platoon leader, ordering everybody around and being fanatical about the details. Why she’s losing it is beyond me, as she’s been planning this wedding since we were kids. The cake, the guest-list, the invitations, the locations, the musicians, the settings… She’d pick out a new dress every year, the menus (God…, the numerous menus)… It’s just madness.

The stories I have heard from my sis could fill this blog. There was one about Mireille’s argument with the service that’s providing waiters for the main event (the wedding day luncheon). Apparently Mireille doesn’t want waitresses, just male staff that had to all be dressed God-knows-how and completely trained in whatever. The argument was about their shoes… She wants to ensure that their shoes are perfect since she has already ensured that their tux’s will be.

My sister is a soldier.

Mireille is incomprehensible.

—

But…

Yeah, Mr. Hot finally met my folks and it was four thumbs up from my dad and mom.

But this does not mean a thing – as my mom so astutely reminded me – because there is still the ultimate Test of Tests to be administered.

—

The thing is, thanks to having listened to dear mother, I learnt a long time ago that words don’t mean a thing. Or ‘feelings’ a lot of the time.

Just because a man says he ‘likes’ or ‘loves’ you means jack. Or that you ‘feel’ nice when he’s around, or that your parents give you thumbs up and think he’s a nice guy. Or all those other reasons (some more ridiculous than others) that make women decide to get hitched to or be with a particular man.

So far, the main thing Mr. Hot has going for him is that my mother’s instinct told her he’s good. And that my dad felt the same, and my sis, and that my instinct was okay too. Otherwise, I’d be typing about my next conquest… I’ve met enough ‘hot’ or ‘perfect’ or ‘on it’ men with the whole package, to know that all that can be a flash in the pan and nothing more.

As my mother says, matters of the heart are not a joke. But she likes him a lot.

–

Then again, I have absolutely no idea where on earth this matter is headed and I’m hoping that I won’t get swept on a wave and find myself shacked up and pregnant wondering how it all happened.

—

Anyway, he (Hot) returned to Canada and stopped off at his brother’s place in Montreal, then came down to meet my folks and we all went out to eat the first night and then he hung out with my folks while I was at work the next day.

(Of course, he did the right thing and brought them and me some very nice presents.)

But as much as I’d love to splash the nitty-gritty of what transpired while he was around across this blog, I shall not.

It all went well…, I promise…

—

Other than that, it appears that my parents think I have finally accomplished the impossible: learnt to control my temper.

My mom was saying how when I was a kid, she thought there was something wrong with me. I would get so angry sometimes, so much so that I would lose it mentally etc. I was a terror in childhood, and my teens and twenties? Forget about it… I mean, I was a respectful child and always listened to what they said etc…, but if someone crossed me it was over.

My dad can’t recall anyone in his family being like that, nor can my mom, so they said the phenomenon entered the family with me.

It’s true, I’ve tried hard to change, or at least walk away when something is getting to me… Every once in a while though, I’ll feel the heat bubbling up, mostly at work… But I’ve learned to ‘wuu-saa’ and let the small stuff roll. But with the big stuff, I’m still working…

Maybe there was something wrong with me or maybe I had some hormonal imbalance, I don’t know hehehe…

—

The other thing my dad said was that he’s proud of the fact that I’ve set my groundwork solid.

That came as a surprise…

He said he likes the fact that when I decide to do something, I act on it… Also that he’s happy that I’ve planned well, invested well etc., and that I have friends who help me grow and aren’t ‘rejects’.

That was about the best thing I heard this month, because I’ve always modeled myself –at least professionally and financially – after my dad (even though I don’t do the type of work he did). I’ve always wanted him to be proud of me and my accomplishments. As a woman, I’ve always wanted to be like my mom, but in the bigger wider world, I’ve wanted to be a female version of my dad.

When he said that, I told him how he has always been such a great dad; and how he’s never made my sister and I feel inferior to my brother, just because we are girls. And that’s the truth.

There was never any ‘Junior is the man of the house’ business in our home. My brother was never raised to be ‘little man’ or anything like that. We were all judged and pushed and prodded the same. And like I said somewhere on this blog a long time ago, if there ever was a time I told my dad I was going to the moon, he’d say he’d help me build the spacecraft.

And I think that’s important for a girl. Or rather, I think it makes it easier for her to get out there and believe she can win. When the most important man in your life says you can, it does something to you, I think…

—

My dear mom on the other hand, is just happy with me in general. She’s happy that I have a clean house, nice dishes, smooth skin, and that I exercise and wear dresses and not jeans.

(My mother has this thing about girls in jeans hehehe…)

She’s just the same old mom… Nothing fazes her (other than that I’d run out of kibe) and we’ve been having a nice time doing the girly things we do when we’re together. This past weekend, we dropped my dad off at the bookstore and went to buy lingerie. I was picking out some pretty wild pieces for myself and my mom was saying how nice I’d look in this one or that one or in that color.

She’s a very nice lady and like I said, I really model myself after her.

—

I think parents just want to see their kids relaxed, coherent and content. And they like to see that you can manage yourself, your time,your moeny…., that you have good friends and are safe… I think they judge you through your friends too.

Of course, my folks love Thabiso and Emerance etc. My mom reaaaally likes Emerance a lot and says she’s a very classy girl. Thabiso has always been a bit shy around my mom (God knows why), but he and my dad get on well. My dad has a copy of his manuscript and says he’ll read it when he gets back home after the holidays… Thabiso was hoping he’d read it now, but my dad hasn’t done a thing other than watch movies, buy music, eat, drive my wonder car and talk on the phone. All those computer programs I bought him just got put in the suitcase for Ethiopia.

—

I remember when in my early twenties, I was working in Botswana/Malawi and had a very weird set of ‘friends’. My parents really worried about me then…

But anyway, I found my way, left my old profession and voila, a new Kaasa was reborn.

–

Anyway, I don’t even know what I’m writing about tonight.

I’m home alone as Baba na Mama Kaasa wameenda kutembelea marafiki. They’re at Musau’s folks’ place and will get dropped back later. So I’m catching up with stuff and emails etc.

And what have you guys been doing, eh? Quoi de neuf?

God bless and

See ya!

Peeping In…

Hey folks!

Quick one here…

I returned early from a lunch my parents and I were invited to at my dad’s old University friend’s house… They live nearby and are Musau’s parents. There was a very hot Liberian guy at the lunch, but nothing doing… He’s as much an Evangelical Christian as Musau’s folks are…

It was nice, but I had to get back home to take care of other matters and decided to write a quick post as I haven’t been around this way in weeks. I hope you are all great.

Everything is fine and dandy on my end and I have gained three pounds! My mom cooks thrice every day and I eat like a glutton

I actually get to eat breakfast at home these days before heading out to work (not cereal), and I’ve been coming home for lunch or meeting them for lunch close to my job… then of course, we always eat dinner together at home. It’s wonderful having my mom and dad around.

Work is good too and I’m getting the hang of my new position.

–

Other than that, I’m not liking the cold weather. Swimming is done, now I’m back to running and free weights… My hair has gotten quite long too but not long enough for Mireille’s wedding so I can only imagine what wig she’ll pick out for me and how hot I’ll be under it…

My siblings, their families, Thabiso and my posse are all fine too… just being good citizens I suppose… And Mr. Hot will be back in a couple of days and then its

Showtime!!

–

Anyway, other than that, not much to say.

Last night, my dad and I watched “The Rise and Fall of Idi Amin” and died laughing… The acting was so camp. There was a Safari Rally scene that was staged outside the Panafric Hotel.

Then again, it was sad remembering that so many Ugandans perished under that man. The horrors the average African has to go through under these male politicians…

Anyway, I’m out. I have to go pick my parents up.

See you soon and be safe!

(I haven’t had the time to register WordPress monikers…)

Merci beaucoup à tout le monde…

Hi folks  

(Here’s one for the road…)

—

I hope you are all very good.

Thanks everybody for letting me know your wishes. Thanks for your emails and comments.  

The reason behind my desire to lock the blog is beyond the scope of this post. 

–

But it appears that the amount of readers who want to access a ‘locked’ Kaasa blog exceeded the 35 person limit placed on subscribers by WordPress. I would have to literally purchase ’subscriber’ space for the rest of those who want to continue reading my scribblings. And this blog has always been just about me venting or thinking out loud…

Thank you for all your kind emails. Asanteni. 

It has been a very shocking and humbling experience to realize that there are people as far away as Palau and Suriname who read my blog… and who say that things I write ‘help’ them… I am overwhelmed by the fact that you all (wherever in the world you are) enjoy all my lies and trickery…    

Also what’s amazing is that in almost every email I received, you all said that you “happened upon” or “discovered” my blog quite by chance… I have always blogged for me first.., I never felt as though I was targetting an audience…, nor was it my intention…, and what’s odd is realizing that there are people out there who think I ‘make sense’. When in all truth, I’ve spent so much of my life querying, probing… trying to figure out whether I’m headed in the right direction emotionally, spiritually, intellectually… Or whether or not I’m the crazy one…

–

I will begin slowly registering your monikers (I have discovered that some names – even of WordPress bloggers, are ‘unregistable’  by me… or problematic…, or maybe I’m not doing something right…)- and then  in the near  future, will implement and see…  

So please don’t get mad because I made you do all that work getting logins in a hurry…  

But then again, it’s always good to be kept on one’s toes so that was a good exercise for you hehehe….

–

Otherwise, I’ll be somewhat scarce for a bit, as my mom and dad arrive from glorious Africa today.

I am going to pick them up in an hour and they will be here with me for little over a month. I’ve spent the last two days getting things ready for them, getting the wonder car sorted, and buying everything they could possibly need (including Vicks Vapor Rub). 

I moved all my stuff out of my bedroom and have relocated to another room and am preparing to gain weight since my mom will be cooking. I’m very happy they are coming. I need to relax, chill with no worries, forget about being a grown-up for a while, and exploit the fact that I’m their last born… 

Anyway, thanks  to you all again.

I need a small break from florid blogging and need to catch myself for a bit. But tutaonana hivi karibuni, in or out of a padlocked blog.

Don’t forget to get your lives in order. Today, some guy at the restaurant told Thabiso and I that the world is definitely a done deal in 2012.

Love 2 u all.

Blog Lock

Hi folks

I locked the blog the other day because I was a bit swamped, but also because I want to keep it private.

Henceforth, you will have to have a WordPress account to log in, and I will have to clear you for entry.

I tried to clear lots of my regular readers but it appears that you may have posted comments before with different monikers so, I can’t figure out who’s who.

Anyway, please get a WordPress account and let me know if you want to have access to my blog.

You can let me know at: kaasabi@gmail.com or just drop a line in the comment section of this post.

I am doing this for multiple reasons.

–

Okay, I’ll keep it open for a week or more and then it’s lock and load…

Love 2 you.

***Again, please remember that you will have to log in via a  WordPress Account (free and simple). So when you post your comment here or when you email me, please let me know what your WordPress moniker/handle is.

Otherwise, you’re toast!

A Little Positivity

Hello  

I had a great weekend and hope you all did too.

I want to mention a couple of things:

–

First, I don’t twitter. I’ve gotten a couple of ‘follow’ requests (from some of you who read this blog) that I haven’t accepted because I don’t twitter at all. So it’s nothing personal if you don’t get an ‘acceptance’ from me. I don’t tweet. I signed up only to follow Ndzulo, Yves and Mwangi because they are gr88t (as Mwangi would say).

Two, I shall not be writing a book any time soon, so sorry… It’s just not in the works for me – at least not now. The blog is it. Maybe one day I’ll write something, but it will probably be a big colourful picture book about my professional creations. But if you’re waiting for “The Life and Times of Kaasa”, barring Divine Intervention, well that one isn’t getting published any time soon but thanks for the strong hints (Lovingit).  

And that’s it.

—

I had to get that out of the way…

—

Anyway, this weekend was nice and calm.

Friday at work, Mr. Belgium and I got to find out what we’ll be working on. We have a new design team working under us and all of this coming week, we’ll have a series of meetings to work out how we’re all going to tackle our three major projects for the rest of the year.

One project is outside the country (in a nice tropical place) and sometime in November, Belgium and I will leave for a week to go there. Thank goodness I’ll get to get out of here before December, at least for a bit, though it’ll mean leaving my parents behind.

–

Friday, we had an office lunch to celebrate the four promotions (i.e. Belgium’s, mine and the two people who’ve taken over our old positions) and the Marketing Director came up and said nice things to us again. Now we know why he was being so pleasant last week… We (Belgium and I) are now masters of our own little universe and Mr. Marketing’s spaceship has no clearance to fly into our zone. But it’s all good…I figured out what type of guy this Director is. Usually, men who yell and scream at people in the office have a very lousy home life (are henpecked), or have no friends, or were the guy who got picked last for the team etc. So they take it out on their underlings in the office.

Just like women who make life miserable for people at work… Those women usually have no life whatsoever or don’t watch their hormone balance… But you should never let them get away with it. Strike at them on day one and they won’t mess with you after that…

Anyway…

The lunch was good and they really went all out and ordered some good grub. I stuffed myself silly and chatted with a senior lady who’s very cool. Anyway, for one of the three upcoming projects, I’ll be working directly with her and after the lunch, I walked to her office on the other side of the building to check out some renderings she’d done and saw pictures of her dogs all over the place. She takes in strays and raises them and I must have counted nine dogs in the photos.

All I have is my fish… I know I can’t handle a dog at this point in my life but when we were kids, my siblings and I had a dog that we loved more than life itself. That dog ate from the same dish and slept in the same beds as we did till my mother got him a kennel and put an end to it…

–

So I am looking forward to the next couple of months. My folks arrive soon… and that will be swell.

This morning (Sunday) I spoke with my mom and dad and they are so excited. They’re like little children and the glee in their voices was overwhelming. My dad wanted to know what computer programs I’ve bought him and also what books, and my mom kept asking if I needed any spices or dresses or jewelry because the jewelry guy (that I go to when I’m in Addis) had a bunch of new stuff the last time she (mom) was in the city. My dad said he had planned on going to Nairobi to check on stuff before departing for here, but he has a bad cold and will stay put.

So far, so good for them. They are enjoying their new home because it’s quite a distance from Addis, and they have their friends around (people my dad worked with who’ve retired there…) They walk every morning and evening, and though my mom said the hardest thing is that she has to do a massive shopping every month in Addis for all the stuff she can’t get out where they are, at least they have access to the web… Otherwise, my dad would lose it…

But they are enjoying themselves and resting and my Auntie S. hung out with them for a long time before finally heading back to Ghana where she works now.

–

Anyway, I am dreading the cold weather and told my parents to bundle up… Yesterday, I went to drop something at my cousin’s place and my uncle and aunt looked like they were about to climb Mt. Everest. They were really covered in sweaters and socks and shawls.

What a life for African parents… They need to be back home relaxing in the sun and not living out their years in this frigidity…

–

Otherwise, I am fine and my friends are good too.

Thabiso has purchased yet another gadget – a bedside alarm/radio/mp3 speaker thing that probably cost more than all the electronics (combined) that I have in this house. He bought it online and it came in the mail last week so I had the pleasure of hearing about it over brunch yesterday morning and then seeing it function last night.

He commented on the dark rings around my eyes and I told him I think I got them from too much sleep. I slept so much last week…, was in bed like 8 on the dot and wouldn’t arise till 7am. I didn’t even do my morning exercises all last week…

Thabiso is fine though. He is planning another dinner for our old Ex-Christians group. I swear, I’ve never met someone who loves planning agendas like Thabiso. Anyway, we are all meeting sometime next week and that should be good…

Also, he spoke to his grandma while I was at his place earlier today and she asked if I was with him. She’s so nice… I remember how she would snore so loudly when I was visiting  them and slept with her in her room… isiXhosa sounds very nice when Thabiso speaks it…

–

As for my other friends here, they are all excellent.

Emerance has forbidden Guy’s many cousins from lounging around their place and now they all think she’s “bad”. See, African relatives…

Anyway, I told her she and Guy should just sell the house and move to an undisclosed location…  

Guy’s relatives are nice, just too ‘communal’… But anyway, Emerance doesn’t mind the hullaballoo… She just goes through phases every once in a while when she wants some her and Guy time…

–

And Nne dumped Charles.

Well, they weren’t really going out yet, but she ended what was bubbling.

I am very happy and relayed my sentiments to her. Thank God. Charles is nice, but he wasn’t about to deal with his marijuana issue. I wasn’t involved with their thing and he hasn’t (and won’t) call me, probably because he knows I told him the truth, which was “it won’t go anywhere with Nne if you don’t deal with this thing”.

Men…

Some men are incredible. They think that women will lower their standards just because they are ‘nice guys’… That’s why so many nice guys finish last…, because they don’t raise their own personal standards, but expect women to lower theirs. And not just any women…, seriously special women…

Anyway, I’m hoping now that M. (Thabiso’s good buddy) will make a move on Nne though I highly doubt it. I would literally have to coach him into doing it hehehe… because he’s so shy and reserved… But I’ve seen the long looks he’s given Nne whenever we’re over dancing at his place or out somewhere… but I’ll keep my mouth shut and see what she’s feeling and thinking… I know her brother’s been trying to hook her up with some Igbo hotshot in Houston where he lives…

Who else?

I won’t write about my siblings, bro-in-law and sis-in-law, Mireille or Mr. Hot tonight… too much to say…

By the way, I got flowers from Mr. Hot yesterday…

–

My other friends are fine as well and are all doing what they do best and moving along in life.

It’s nice that I caught up with them this past summer and will see most of them this Christmas and then all the time next year. It doesn’t appear as though any one of them is planning on marrying any time soon… I wonder why we’re all hanging on to singlehood… My friend Flavien said the problem is that too many people these days are distracted…, then, they have entitlement issues, then… they don’t know how healthy relationships are supposed to function…, then, they never worked on their issues… so, we can’t marry them…

As you can see, Flavien is a very positive guy.

Hehehe.

Anyway, I love him very much and agree ten thousand percent! 

Anyway, I have run out of things to say and my neighbours’ dog is barking like crazy. They came back from their trip a while ago and were very thankful that the other neighbour and I had looked after the dog…

When I was in there feeding it, I was surprised at how much it’s chewed up their sofa. I bought it a humongous fake bone at the supermarket and that kept it busy for a while…

Anyway, I’m off!

Happy week and God bless!